Democrats and the news media, but I repeat myself, are delivering their takes on the

Mueller report just as quickly as they can read the report summaries by the 19-year-old

interns who read the report.

Over at CNN, a panel of one shrieking Democrat dressed as nine different commentators declared

that the report marked a tipping point at the beginning of the end of the news tightening

while the walls close in, causing Trump to lose the 2016 election, thus making Hillary

the first woman president, just like in their dreams.

At ABC, news analyst Poe Face Blather said the report is a damning indictment of Trump

except without the indictment.

And when he comes to think about it, he actually added the word damning just for effect since

without the indictment, it doesn't really make any sense.

Chuck Todd, whose face looks exactly the same upside down as right side up, not that that

has anything to do with anything, it's just kind of weird.

Anyway, Chuck Todd says that Attorney General William Barr has absolutely disgraced himself

by saying the report showed no evidence of collusion when in fact the report uses very

different words to say the same thing.

Looking stupidly into the camera with his face, face either right side up or upside down,

I couldn't tell which.

Todd said, quote, just because a jury finds you not guilty, that doesn't mean you're innocent

and just because a prosecutor doesn't prosecute, that doesn't mean we in the media can't

seasonally spin his words into an insinuation of guilt until you just want to put your fist

through the television set and punch me in the chin, or perhaps the farhead, whichever

...