The Democrat presidential field continues to grow. There are now approximately 320 Democrats who

are not running in 2020, though 170 of those have formed exploratory committees and the

rest are unborn children and not expected to survive. So far, the front runners are Julius and

Ethel Rosenberg, a transgender schizophrenic who self-identifies his both members of the couple

who sold our nuclear secrets to the Soviets, and psychopathic abortion doctor Kermit Gaznell,

whose campaign slogan is, other Democrats vote for Infantoside, but I've actually been convicted.

Other top candidates include Minnesota Senator and Virago Amy Klobuchar, Klobuchar is running

as a moderate because she feels the green new deal would cripple American freedom and prosperity

within 10 years where she'd like to wait 15. Klobuchar has been accused of treating her staff

unkindly, but she says this is just sexism. In a speech delivered in a shrill,

screeching voice to a cowering underling, Klobuchar said, quote,

if a man demands excellence from his workers, he's considered strong, but if a woman hits

her assistant and they head with an asterisk because she put two sugars in her coffee, instead of one,

she's considered a witch. Now fetch me a salad before I rip out your esophagus. Unquote.

One potential candidate who hasn't made up his mind yet is former Vice President Joe Biden.

In an interview with a potted plant he mistook for Joyce Behar, Biden said, quote,

I think what the American people are looking for is a 78 year old chief executive who's as stupid as

a brick. The working folks of this country know I'm just an ordinary guy except Dumber and maybe

a little more dishonest. Unquote. Democrat party chairman Joseph Stalin, no relation, says the party

must ultimately unite under the banner of defeating Donald Trump because, quote, Trump is a horrible

human being who has brought this country nothing but full employment and world peace.

Actually, that banner may need a little work. Unquote. Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Cleven,

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