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Slack.com slash DHQ. Roger Stone, longtime sleazy political advisor to Donald Trump,

has been indicted in the Robert Mueller probe. Stone was charged with five counts of speaking

to the FBI in the past continuous tense while using verbs in the present perfect, and two

counts of addressing Congress under oath with sentences that included dangling participles.

In a pre-don raid, 650 federal agents carrying AR-15s and accompanied by a team of CNN reporters

parachuted from helicopters onto the lawn of the 66 year old political consultants house

whereupon they knocked in his door with a battering ram and threw in several flash bang grenades

before shooting the family dog. Then, led by CNN's Jake Tapper and 17 cameraman and

sound engineers, the FBI agents shackled Stone and carried him out to a waiting armored car,

pausing only to strike a few heroic poses for the cameras before driving Stone to a military

air transport where he was locked in a cage last used for Hannibal Lecter in silence of the

lambs. Tapper reported the arrest from the scene, standing on Stone's neck and giving

the details to whichever of CNN's 23 viewers hadn't yet left the airport waiting area to

board their planes. Tapper said, quote, Roger Stone is being taken to prison where he'll

probably enjoy being raped because I've heard he's one of them homosexuals, yuck, yuck,

yuck, unquote. The charges of felony misuse of grammar are so serious, many CNN commentators

believe they justify the fact that federal agents in the Obama administration spied on a

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