EP 645: How to Stop Sabotaging a Healthy Relationship (Even When You're Still Healing)
Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice
Dr. Morgan Anderson
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2026
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you've ever found yourself pulling away from someone genuinely good, someone emotionally available, consistent, and kind — and thought, why am I like this?, this episode is for you. We're getting into one of the most vulnerable truths in the healing journey: you can finally find the right person and still be the one who blows it up. I'm breaking down why our nervous systems are wired to reject what feels unfamiliar (even when it's healthy), the signs you might be in a sabotage cycle right now, and the practical steps to actually stop it — before you push away something really good.
🔍 Inside the Episode:
- Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between "unfamiliar" and "dangerous."
- There are real, recognizable signs you're about to sabotage a good thing.
- Stopping the cycle requires doing the deeper work — not just white-knuckling it.
Ready to do the deeper work? If you're tired of watching yourself push away the very thing you actually want, I'd love to support you inside the Empowered. Secure. Love. Private 1:1 Coaching Intensive. Right now, we only have a few spots left for the Secure Relationship Reset Spring Sale — and this is genuinely the best time to do this work.. Apply in two minutes at www.drmorgancoaching.co/esl-breakthrough
🎧 Also, if you're not in the Secure. Soft. Magnetic. Audio Course yet, it's one of my favorite resources I've ever created and it's waiting for you right here: Listen now
🔗 Additional Episode Links:
- Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz → https://drmorgancoaching.com/quiz
- Follow me on IG → @drmorgancoaching
- Grab my book: Grab my best selling book Love Magnet
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship |
| 0:07.0 | coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and |
| 0:13.0 | Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, |
| 0:18.7 | and step confidently into the next level of your life. |
| 0:22.1 | Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips, showing you |
| 0:28.2 | exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship. |
| 0:32.3 | You deserve to feel empowered, secure, and love. |
| 0:36.2 | Buckle up and let's get vulnerable. Welcome to the Let's Get |
| 0:43.5 | Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan. We have a very important topic today. We are discussing |
| 0:50.9 | how to not sabotage a healthy relationship when being in a healthy relationship |
| 0:59.3 | is new for you. |
| 1:01.3 | When you are kind of in the healing journey, you are working on becoming securely attached, |
| 1:07.7 | but you know that you're not quite there yet. And you find yourself in a relationship where |
| 1:13.6 | you know this had a lot of potential. This could be it. This is a great partner. And you go through |
| 1:22.4 | that moment of how in the hell do I not sabotage this relationship? How do I not push this person away? So that's what I |
| 1:32.3 | really wanted to talk about today because I talk with a lot of you that find yourselves in this |
| 1:40.4 | situation. And this is such a vulnerable piece to acknowledge |
| 1:47.1 | because to even get to this point, |
| 1:50.0 | okay, you are acknowledging, hey, |
| 1:52.5 | it's not all about finding that healthy person. |
| 1:57.3 | To get to this realization, |
| 1:59.2 | you've taken ownership, |
... |
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