How would you like your podcast cooked sir? Welcome to the off-menu podcast.

Medium rare please Ed. Oh hello James. How are you? Very well thank you how are you mate.

Very very very well. The hustle and the bustle, the restaurant.

Here we are. Nice change from the quiet solitude of the lamp.

If you've not visited the restaurant before what James is referencing is we are broadcasting from the dream restaurant James is a waiter who's also a genie who lives in a lamp and we have a special guest on every week and what do we give them the option to choose James?

Their favourite ever start a main course to the side and drink and this week's special guest is Jen Brister.

Wonderful comedian Jen Brister. I've kicked with her countless amounts of times. One of the best started out we did the comedy zone together in Edinburgh which is like a showcase that you do quite early on in your career.

She's very exciting. She's a lot of fun. She's very funny indeed and she's a great guest but if she mentions the secret ingredient that we have decided on in her meal no matter how good a comedian she is she will be ejected.

Rose of rules from the restaurant today's secret ingredient is unpopped popcorn kernels that's right unpopped popcorn kernels it will be pretty bizarre if Jen did pick that as part of her meal.

If she picks anything with popcorn in it. Then we can follow up and say do you want any of the unpop ones in do you like that.

Well I think I think what I'll do is I'll say do you want to say anything in particular you want to make sure there's not in there.

Nice and if she says no it says no go get the fuck out of the box perfect hopefully she won't say that because we're really looking forward to having her in the restaurant so without further ado this is the off menu of Jen Brister.

Welcome to the dream restaurant Jen Brister. Oh I'm delighted to be in this.

No one told me it would be so opulent. I know right. Oh welcome Jen welcome to the next one good to see you.

You can see James you look really well. Thank you very much obviously moisturiser inside the lamp.

It's his full of moisturiser. I noticed he slept out quicker than normal.

Oh I slept out real fast. You can look at the machine. Yeah straight out I was full of E45 that lamp is today so yeah here I am.

You're definitely the sort of person who will be like I'm moisturising today and you're using E45.

You want to use a water based if particularly if you've got Exmo you want to use a water based emolience.

Actually you want to use that queer screen. Yes you don't want to get on the E45 train.

No I've got Exmo there which I have but fair enough.

You can't be like cramped type. You can not have some kind of skin condition.

...