John Kelly will be leaving his post as White House chief of staff come the end of the year.

The combat veteran Marine will reportedly step down to undergo treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder

and will announce his departure as soon as he can stop stuttering uncontrollably.

Vice presidential aide Nick Ayers was offered the job of replacing Kelly.

Ayers said he was honored by the offer but unfortunately couldn't accept it because he'll be busy washing his hair for the next two years.

Other possible replacements include budget director Mick Mulvaney who could not be dragged out from under his living room sofa for comment

but instead shouted at reporters from under the sofa in a fake Chinese accent saying, quote,

Mick Mulvaney, he know here, he go far far away, I know nowhere to find him, no one know he far away.

G-O-P operative Wayne Burman was also asked if he would be willing to take the job, Burman responded, quote, it would be a great honor to step in and bring a measure of order and discipline to the Trump White House.

No, I'm kidding, I'd rather be impaled on a flaming pole and left to die in the hot sun.

Another candidate for the post is David Bossy. As head of citizens united, Bossy was responsible for the anti-Hillary Clinton documentary. The drove Hillary so crazy she swore to erase every word of the first amendment one by one before she ever allowed such a film to be made again.

Bossy could not be reached for comment and was last seen in Chapaquan, New York pounding on Hillary's front door begging to be let in because it was the last place anyone would think to look for him.

Other names on the chief of staff shortlist include the gigantic white gorilla from that Dwayne Johnson movie and the hitman played by Jason Statham in mechanic resurrection. Both decline the job saying they wouldn't be able to stand the stress.

Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klavin and this is the Andrew Klavin show.

All right, it is mailbag day so all your probably you're like 25 minutes away from your problems being utterly solved and you know you can ask anything you want and all my answers will be cray. I'm there trying to get to the minute.

Oh my god.

Another trucker just ran off the road. That's on you Austin. That pile up on the one on one that just took place.

Thank you to the Silicon Valley Liberty Forum. They had me out there yesterday up in near San Francisco. Great reception. I gave a speech. There were so nice. It was the second time second Christmas in a row. They had me there and I got to tell you I got really late.

I'm just a little bit exhausted so but we will try and get I want to get to the mailbag early today if I can a lot of really morally complex questions.

I want to actually give them some time also we have the lefties dictionary we have the new it finally we've got a little held up guys got so busy we're able to put out the new one but we've got.

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