Attention at all passengers. You can now book your train tickets on Uber and get 10% back in Uber credits to spend on your next train journey.

So no excuses not to visit your in-laws this Christmas.

Trains now on Uber. T's and C's apply check the Uber app. The Take a big breath everybody. Now listen this is the most exciting thing that has

happened since the beginning of lockdown. I don't want

Suda jinx artiles but I think I think fingers crossed everybody cross your

fingers very hard cross your legs cross everything I think Judith and I

thanks to Daisy I can hear Judith in the background, I think we have a clean contact.

Oh, Judith. I can hear you.

Oh, isn't this fantastic? It's like a proper kind of, it's like a proper

broadcaster, got a big microphone in front of me like on the in the wall like those broadcasters.

Do you know the funniest thing about these microphones? Judith and I have been sent

microphones and they're called Blue Yetis.

You can look them up and they are like the biggest blackest

dildo you could ever see.

Honestly, every time I catch sight of mine, I flinch.

For some reason, and I don't know why, I imagine this being inserted into my vagina.

And I don't want that to happen.

No, I can see why, looking at the size of it, Jenny.

Now you've put that thought into my head.

I shan't put it in any other way.

I should look at it the way and look at cucumbers

in that plastic rabby every time, don't you, with the cucumbers?

...