EP 598: The Real Reason Modern Dating Feels So Hard (And How to Fix It)

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2025

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Let’s be honest… modern dating feels hard. Between viral TikToks saying “having a boyfriend is cringe,” the rise of avoidant attachment, and an entire culture that glorifies hyper-independence. It can start to feel like relationships just aren’t worth it anymore. But what if I told you this collective cynicism isn’t the truth… Is it a trauma response?

In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s really going on beneath the surface of today’s dating world, why so many women are leaning into avoidance and “high standards” that actually keep love out. And how to shift back into openness, trust, and secure connection.

Inside the Episode:

The truth about why avoidant attachment is growing fastest among women and what that means for your love life.
How cynicism and “high standards” can secretly be trauma responses that keep you disconnected.
The mindset and nervous system rewiring you need to attract emotionally available, securely attached love.

If you’ve been feeling frustrated with dating or losing hope that real love exists, this episode will help you see things differently. You can have the healthy, peaceful, passionate relationship you deserve… and it starts with your healing.

✨ Ready to do the work?

Apply now for the Empowered.Secure.Loved Relationship Program. We’re closing applications soon for this year! Don’t wait. This is your moment to heal your attachment style and attract the love you’ve been dreaming of.

👉 Apply to Empowered.Secure.Loved™ now — applications close soon!

🔗 Additional Episode Links:

Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz → https://drmorgancoaching.com/quiz
Follow me on IG → @drmorgancoaching
Grab my book: Grab my best selling book Love Magnet

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life.
0:21.6	Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips, showing
0:27.6	you exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship.
0:31.6	You deserve to feel empowered, secure, and love.
0:35.8	Buckle up and let's get vulnerable.
0:41.4	Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast.
0:43.9	I'm your host, Dr. Morgan, and we have so much to talk about.
0:47.7	Okay, there is a lot going on in the dating world, in the modern relationships era that we are in, there is so much happening.
0:59.0	And I really want to take this episode to unpack it with you because I don't know if you've
1:05.1	noticed, but there is an overarching devaluing of relationships. And not to mention a lot of avoidant attachment strategies.
1:18.9	And we know that this is true. The research backs this up that of all the attachment
1:23.7	styles, avoidant attachment is growing the fastest. And this is particularly interesting when it
1:30.2	comes to this trend with women. Historically, I would say, you know, back in the 1950s, when
1:40.0	attachment theory was first being understood, we know that it was more likely for men to be
1:46.8	avoidantly attached, women to be anxiously attached. And why is that? We can look at a lot of
1:52.3	societal factors, power factors, not being the breadwinner, et cetera, et cetera, right? There's all kinds of cultural pieces and
2:03.7	socialization that plays into, okay, that makes sense. There was more anxiously attached women,
2:11.0	more avoidantly attached men, and more securely attached people, for that matter, as well. And then look at now. Can you guess what's happening?
2:22.6	We have more and more avoidantly attached women than ever before. I've talked about this shift a little bit,
2:30.3	but now with where we are culturally, I just feel more and more called to bring this up.
2:37.2	Because it's not just about women becoming avoidantly attached and not screwing everything up.
2:45.2	It's just all of us in general, human beings, at least an American society, but human beings devaluing
	...

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