Democrats and Salem Massachusetts are declaring they believe the women who are accusing people of

witchcraft there. The Salem uproar began in 1692 when a number of girls began complaining of

being pinched and pricked by demons. The girls then began to utter strange sounds and to contort

themselves into odd positions after which many other girls joined in in a movement that's now

being called hashtag me to be witched. Under the slogan believe all hysterical girls making

unsubstantiated charges, Salem Democrats are calling for anyone accused of witchcraft to immediately

be hanged or pressed to death with rocks, whichever makes for better TV. As Salem Senator Maisie Goodwife

Horano told reporters quote, even if these accusations turn out to be false, the accused should still be

hanged, lest they be seen to undermine the lived experience of women who feel they've been unfairly

possessed by demons. Anyone who disagrees is probably a witch as well and should be burned at the

stake on the basis of their political beliefs. Salem Senator Diane Manipulation Finestein issued

a statement saying quote, I have in my hand a blank piece of paper submitted by an anonymous source

which assures me that these accusations of witchcraft originated with Tichuba, a dark skin slave.

Are you really going to disbelieve the word of an oppressed minority woman? Surely not. Instead,

we should become hysterical and slaughter our neighbors at the first hint of baseless in New

Endo. The New York Times, a future newspaper that will later become a former newspaper,

wrote an editorial saying quote, although in the past we have supported satanic sexual abuse by

those who share our socialist beliefs, we now cynically express sanctimonious condemnation,

mingled with unreasoning panic, tins with sexual puritanism as a way of serving our political

ends. Make no mistake, we will return to supporting satanism as soon as we've destroyed all those

who oppose us. Because we have no principles. Unquote. Democrats say they will continue to fight

against witchcraft until good has triumphed over evil or until the 1692 midterms, whichever comes

...