Former White House aide and apprentice star Amaroso, whatever the rest of her name is,

is seeking to prove she was unfairly fired by the administration by releasing secret

tapes of her private conversations with the president.

Because who would want to fire White House aide who was making secret tapes of her private

conversations with the president?

Amaroso is trying to get on TV to peddle her new memoir entitled, I am a disgruntled former

employee who can't be trusted and may even be psycho, but is probably just greedy and dishonest.

That may not be the exact title, but it's something like that.

CNN spokesman Winston Mendaceus said, quote, this network is not going to waste our

viewers time by interviewing some greedy, fame-hound peddling, sleazy unsubstantiated rumors that

might needlessly undermine the reputation and effectiveness of the president of the United

States.

No, I'm kidding.

Bring that sweet stuff on.

Unquote.

Amaroso says, among other things, she witnessed Trump lying to investigators and using

racial slurs while having sex with an underage prostitute after drinking the blood of

virgins, then devouring a living infant with his lizard-like tongue, after which he stripped

off his Trump face to reveal he was really a gigantic space alien with dripping fangs

and only the slightest grass-befarring policy.

On hearing the allegations, CNN's Don Lemon issued a statement saying, quote, I knew

it.

...