EP 559: Break-up Reframe: It’s Not Them, It’s the Feeling

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2025

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

🔗 Episode Links:

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In this episode, I’m guiding you through one of the most powerful mindset shifts after a breakup: realizing you don’t miss the person—you miss the emotion.

Whether it’s the feeling of safety, excitement, being chosen, or relief from dating, what you’re longing for likely has more to do with how you felt with them than with who they actually were. If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling about someone who’s no longer in your life, this is the clarity and closure you’ve been craving.

Inside this episode:

Why break-ups are so challenging to move through (it’s not what you think)
The truth you absolutely must realize when healing after a relationship ends
Actionable steps to fully release your past and finally move on fully

If you’re ready to stop ruminating and start healing, now is the time.

For a limited time, when you join the Empowered.Secure.Loved. Relationship Program, you’ll receive three incredible gifts:

The Breakup Academy (a $997 value)
Two bonus coaching sessions
And the Morning Alignment Journal

👉🏼 Click Here to Apply Now

It’s time for you to finally let go of the past so you can welcome in the securely attached love you deserve. 🩵

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life.
0:22.3	Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips, showing you
0:28.4	exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship. You deserve to feel empowered,
0:34.8	secure, and love. Buckle up and let's get vulnerable.
0:41.9	Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast.
0:44.4	I'm your host, Dr. Morgan, and today's episode is for you if you've recently gone through a breakup
0:50.2	or if you have broken up with someone at any point in your life and you find yourself
0:56.2	not quite over that person, maybe most of the time you are, but then occasionally you see
1:04.9	something that reminds you of them and you're kind of transported back into the pain of that
1:10.6	relationship ending.
1:12.2	I think a lot of us, whether we realize it or not, go through these energy leaks where
1:19.5	we think we're over somebody, but we're actually not, right?
1:23.5	Our energy is still leaking back to that person.
1:26.9	So this is going to be a great episode to help you reframe a breakup, reframe past relationships,
1:36.1	reframe those feelings of, oh, I really miss this person, I wish I had worked out.
1:41.6	And it's going to help you move on more fully. So I can't wait to
1:46.3	dive in with you today. This is going to be a good one. Here's something I want to start out with
1:54.1	on this episode. Everything that we do in life is because of how we want to feel or how we believe something will
2:04.6	make us feel, right? If you go and get an advanced degree, you think, okay, that's going to
2:12.5	make me feel accomplished, successful, or that's going to earn me more money and then what is that going to do?
2:19.8	That's going to make me feel financially safe. Everything we do, right, is motivated by perceived
2:27.7	ideas about how something will make us feel. We are very emotionally driven. And a lot of us have different emotions that we
	...

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