Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maw

Thank you, how you doing?

All right, appreciate it, thank you very much.

Okay, I know, thank you very much.

I know.

Humble.

Thank you very much, I know why you're happy today.

Four states have more states now have legalized marijuana and not a moment too soon.

I mean, almost the whole country now, and this not only strikes a blow against the repressive prohibition that has compromised justice in this country for way too long, but it significantly expands where I can tour.

Oh, I know.

Or a God, how about this, Oregon decriminalized coke, math, ecstasy and heroin and experts say this is a major win for Charlie Sheen's cargo shorts.

But, okay, so let's see, what else is in the news?

Oh, yeah, a Biden won the election.

Not that we're taking sides.

I just wanted to report that, no matter who you voted for, we can all be proud that we live in the third most democratic country in North America.

Now, I don't know, I mean, it's four, we go on at seven, to the west, ten to the east, so we're three hours before this goes on the other.

The network's still a two-chick a jit to call it, but plainly, he's won this election.

But, you know, elections in America, whew, they're a lot like losing your virginity when you're a lesbian.

Between the late ballot and the recount and the lawsuits and the electoral colleges, hard to actually know when you're finished.

And...

Now, of course, until all the ballots accounted, President Trump is telling everyone to stay calm and classy and respect the process.

Of course, he's not.

...