NATO is furious at President Trump for demanding that NATO nations live up to their promises

and responsibilities.

NATO representative Venn diagram and obscure politician from some snowy nowhere just north

of sunrise says the president's irresponsible demands that NATO stop taking advantage of

the U.S. threatened to bring an end to 75 years of peace and prosperity brought on by NATO

taking advantage of the U.S.

and a statement translated from some incomprehensible language or other, Mr. diagram told reporters

quote,

President Trump's demands that we help pay for our own defense fly in the face of our

normal practice of sticking America with our defense bill and then bragging about all

the social spending we can afford because our army consists of a seven year old in a

soldier's suit playing with a toy truck.

If we are forced to actually pay to defend ourselves, we would no longer be able to look

down on our American allies for stinting on their social spending because they're wasting

their money on us.

President Trump must remember that it is America's sacred duty to spend its money protecting

the NATO countries from Russia so the NATO countries can use their money to buy oil from

Russia.

Unquote, Mr. diagram then went on to invite reporters to visit the many tourist sites in

his country including Santa's workshop and a big ol' patch of ice.

He said quote,

it is historic locations like these that NATO is built to defend.

...