Kill a little time for the child within, you don't be afraid to be young and free

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you

I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart, and I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective

And this is Jordan, Jesse, GO!

This week, someone gets intimate with Jordan, we get a telephone call from the lady's

room of the United States Postal Facility and much, much more!

Let's go!

It's Jordan, Jesse, GO! I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart

Jordan Morris, boy detective

Jordan, it's good to be here

Yeah, it's always a pleasure to have you

Thanks for that warm welcome, Jesse

No problem, I thought you might want a warm welcome given that we're in a mad scientist's laboratory

Yeah, yeah, but thanks, I mean I've basically forgotten all about the horrible atrocities against God that are going on all around us

Sure, I mean...

Because of that warm welcome, I knew that electricity was amazing, but I didn't know that it could do that

Yeah, right, you know what I mean?

I went into a penis

Yeah, through a suction cup

Yeah, who had any idea, honestly, certainly not I

No, certainly not I

It's truly the work of a ranged mind

...