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Hello, horny family. This is Jordan. It's the horny housewife. It's Monday. We're back.

I'm going to go ahead and guess that some of us are feeling hungover

from the festivities last night. I bet we ate way too much

fucking candy, razor hand, and now that Halloween's over, you know what that means.

All the Christmas shit is coming out. When I was growing up, I kind of had a grinchy

dad. We got all the presents we could ever want, but he wasn't like,

fuck the lights, fuck all the decorations that I got to put up and I got to take down.

And I understand, but as a woman, I love it. I love sprucing up the home,

giving it a new vibe. I'm a white light girl. Let me tell you, I actually find colored

lights repulsive. Or let me be like, not so harsh, tacky. I guess that's harsh too.

No colored lights can be done tasteful. I just don't like when we see. You know what?

I'm not going to do this. I'm going to describe someone's home and offend someone.

So you know what? Me and my husband are a divided home when it comes to the light preferences,

but you know, we all have our demons. And on the topic of demons and or like relevance to

evil shit, I watched Halloween kills. I don't understand how Michael Myers is still alive.

I don't understand if he has some sort of superpowers that we're unaware of.

Just doesn't make sense to me at all. Like all those firefighters, like spoiler alert,

if you haven't seen it. I don't understand. I don't know why Kyle Richards is in the movie.

I love her. She's one of my favorite Beverly Hills housewives of all time. She's an OG.

But like that's your brand. Like that is your brand. That's what I know you for. That's what I see

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