Once upon a time when Bill Reel was previously a guest on Infants on Thrones, I used this intro.

Let me warn the listener about today's episode.

Good idea, Bill.

Let me help you out with that.

Today we're going to be talking about spiritual trauma.

Well, some of us will be talking.

We're going to be talking about spiritual abuse.

And one or two of us might be yelling about it.

I also am assuming that there may be parts of explicit language.

Which in and of itself is in especially daring and potentially subversive assumption to be making given that when you assume anything, you make an

ass out of you and me. So, may I make a few suggestions.

One would be obviously keep kids as far away from this episode as possible.

Lock them out in the backyard and the tool shed if you have to.

Just keep them far, far away.

Please.

Use duct tape if you have to.

The second would be not to listen to this episode alone or in the dark or around

any sharp objects of any kind and make sure that you've got a 72 hour kit close at hand.

And if I can just beg you as the listener,

if you would please get somebody you love who loves you for who you are and listen to this episode with them.

And if you can't find anyone like that who's willing to listen to this episode with you.

There's always Craigslist or those sketchy late night massage places

...