Hello and welcome to Something's Off with Andrew Heaton. I am your host Andrew Heaton or am I?

And today I'm going to speak with Eric Beam of Reason about Stadium Subsidies.

And through it, I will determine which NFL team is my favorite,

based on which one is bilking taxpayers for the least amount of money.

That is how I will pick my team fanaticism. I will also give a brief

rundown of ways that I believe football can be improved. I thought about this long and hard over the weekend.

I think I've got some very good out-of-the-box ideas and I will share both of them with you.

However, we do need to pay the bills and that means a word to our sponsors.

Something's off with Andrew Heaton is brought to you by the Stop Sloth Abuse Council.

Everybody loves sloths, right? They're furry, slow-moving critters who sure look like

they're grinning when you see them in memes, but you know when

they're not smiling? When heartless men capture them from their native biomes and force them

into competitive sloth racing. Or worse, underground sloth fights. Now there are a lot of things I did

back in the 70s that I'm not proud of. After I got kicked out of the Ford administration,

I started hanging out with some unsavory

characters and eventually I was spending my nights drunk and gambling at an underground

sloth fighting ring in Scrumpox, Iowa. At the time I found a seven-hour

sloth brawl lucrative and hilarious, but now I know that that's sloth abuse.

Plain and simple.

There's still seven states in the Union where sloth racing is legal.

You might think, oh sloths love racing

it's why they're racing sloths. What's next outlawing horse racing? Well what you

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