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Over It And On With It

EP 502: I’m So Frustrated with Feeling Fearful with Holly

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this deeply tender session, Christine works with Holly, who’s navigating the exhausting grip of fear and the inner conflict that arises when she tries to override it. Holly describes the frustration of knowing she’s done the inner work—yet still feeling paralyzed by fear when it comes to speaking up, setting boundaries, or simply sending a message to a friend.

What emerges is a powerful reframe: fear is not the enemy. It’s a messenger from past pain, particularly childhood wounds of abandonment and emotional neglect. Christine guides Holly through a shift from judgment to compassion, from pushing through fear to gently parenting the scared parts of herself with curiosity and care.

This conversation is for anyone who feels “stuck” in their fear despite years of personal growth—and who needs a reminder that softness, not force, is the path forward.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you judging yourself for still feeling fear, even after doing years of self-development work?
  • Do small tasks, like expressing a need or setting a boundary, send you into overanalysis or self-doubt?
  • Were you raised in an environment that didn’t feel safe or affirming—and are you carrying those patterns into adulthood?
  • What might shift if you treated your fear with compassion instead of frustration?

Key Insights and A-HAs:

  • Fear often stems from childhood wounds, not present-day reality.
  • Self-judgment reinforces abandonment. Compassion heals it.
  • We don’t have to “push through” fear to transform—it’s more powerful to honor it, tend to it, and respond with care.
  • Hyper-independence can be a trauma response—not a personality trait.
  • Healing happens through curiosity, compassion, and courage—not pressure and shame.

How to Deepen the Work:

  • Practice speaking to yourself the way a nurturing parent would: “It’s okay to be scared. I’m here.”
  • Try the three-step emotional approach Christine recommends: Compassion → Curiosity → Courage.
  • Journal about where fear still holds you back—and what your younger self might need in those moments.
  • Explore whether you're bypassing your feelings by “pushing through,” and ask what might happen if you softened instead.
  • Identify safe relationships where you can start practicing self-expression and vulnerability in small ways.

Upcoming Event: The San Diego Women’s Retreat (Oct. 17–19, 2025)
If this episode resonated, you’re invited to Christine’s signature women’s retreat—a high-frequency, transformational experience designed to reconnect you with your truth, your joy, and your courage. Whether you’re in a season of rebuilding or simply seeking maintenance for your soul, this retreat offers intentional support and sacred community.

Early bird discount ending soon.
Learn more and register at: christinehassler.com/retreat

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This is episode 502. I'm so frustrated with feeling fearful with Holly.

0:07.8

Welcome to Life Coaching with Christine Hassler, a space where truth and love come together to

0:13.1

guide you back to your truest self. Hi, I'm Christine, a master coach, author, and spiritual

0:18.4

psychologist. For over 20 years, I've supported people through the deep work of letting go, waking

0:23.9

up, and coming home to who they truly are.

0:26.9

Each week, you'll hear an unedited, unscripted coaching session with someone moving through

0:30.6

a challenge or block in their life.

0:32.8

These are tender and powerful conversations where deep healing happens in real time. Even though I'm coaching someone

0:38.8

else, you will hear yourself in their story. This is a place where you will feel seen and

0:43.2

supported and walk away with insight, emotional relief, and tools you can apply in your own life.

0:49.3

Let's dive into today's session. Hey everybody, Welcome back to the show. Can you relate to being really sick and tired of your

0:59.6

fear? There's things in your life you want to do. There's things you want to say. There's ways

1:04.5

you want to be in the world. But you're just so freaking scared. You can't do it. And then you get

1:09.7

so frustrated with your fear that then you just spiral so freaking scared. You can't do it. And then you get so frustrated with your fear

1:12.5

that then you just spiral into a massive heap of self-judgment and nothing really changes.

1:19.0

You're definitely not alone, although it's very isolating and can feel very alone. And this podcast,

1:26.2

I have a sense, could really support you. It's actually very common for

1:31.8

us to feel fear, especially living in a world where a lot of our basic needs are met. We still

1:39.2

have that biological fear response to a lot of things. And so many of us had fear, rightfully so,

1:47.9

in childhood, that we still carry in our system and trying to or actually pushing through the

1:55.3

fear only actually makes it worse. And so this episode is not about feeling the fear and doing it anyway

2:02.4

or pushing through that fear. It's really about honoring the fear, understanding the fear,

...

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