Ep. 5 - When the distractions stop working
How to Get Over Your Ex
Dorothy AB Johnson
4.7 • 577 Ratings
🗓️ 20 October 2019
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you're anything like me during a breakup, you've jammed your schedule full of things to do to avoid being alone and feeling your loneliness. I would try to distract myself until I had to sleep so that I wouldn't have to sit with my own thoughts by myself.
But what happens when the distractions stop working? Or we can't use a distraction? We must sit with our thoughts and learn how to handle our negative and painful emotions.
Our life is 50% positive and 50% negative. Learning how to experience the 50% negative without avoiding, resisting and reacting to it is vital to your human experience on this earth.
We must learn how to FEEL an emotion, to process it in a way that doesn't keep recreating our past and therefor eliminates the need to distract ourselves.
In this episode:
- The 50/50 experience and how it plays out in a breakup
- What you might be distracting yourself with now and don't even realize
- What to do when you stop distracting yourself
- The step by step to FEEL an emotion
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You are listening to How to Get Over Your Ex with Dorothy A.B. Johnson, episode number five, when the distractions stop working. |
| 0:15.0 | Welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time. |
| 0:25.1 | I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy. |
| 0:27.3 | Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy. |
| 0:33.5 | Hello, hello, hello, brave hearts. |
| 0:36.1 | Today we are talking about when the distractions stop working. |
| 0:40.9 | If you're anything like me, you've probably taken it one day at a time and tried to ensure you were so busy that you wouldn't even have time to think about him or experience any negative emotion at all whatsoever. |
| 0:53.9 | So that you've ultimately gotten to this point where you're like frantically running around |
| 0:57.9 | and trying to avoid being alone at all costs. |
| 1:02.7 | So as humans, we like to avoid, resist, or react to negative emotion. So avoiding is like distracting ourselves, right, trying to find |
| 1:16.9 | distractions so that we don't have to feel our emotions. And then resisting is pushing it away. |
| 1:25.6 | And then reacting to it is, you eating eating the entire pint of ice cream |
| 1:32.2 | or scrolling through his social media or like trying to call him we react to that negative emotion |
| 1:39.6 | so I want to talk a lot of emotions a little bit here because it's so, so important and we're not |
| 1:46.3 | like taught this stuff in school. |
| 1:48.6 | I can't believe we don't just have an entire class on emotions. |
| 1:52.4 | The first thing I want to say is that our life will always consist of 50% negative emotion |
| 1:58.0 | and 50% positive emotion. |
| 2:00.6 | Literally always. |
| 2:02.3 | Like 100%. |
| 2:03.7 | Like when millionaires, I don't know. |
| 2:08.4 | For me, I remember when I was younger, I was like, I got to be famous and have a million |
... |
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