Ep. 5—Get Drunk, Buy Monsters

The Quibbler: A Harry Potter Book Club

Heather Price-Wright & Alex Dalenberg

Arts

4.8 • 783 Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2016

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Mars is bright tonight. Let's hear it for Hagrid's monster problems, draconian (heehee) wizarding discipline, half-horse stargazers, and Voldemort's villainy. Plus: drowning in Neville tears, and Norbert decapitates his Teddy.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Take the time now to check your smoke detectors batteries because here there be dragons.
0:07.2	You're listening to the Quiddler podcast, the Harry Potter Book Club for Monster Horders.
0:12.2	I bet you'll think twice about breaking a stool again, won't you, eh?
0:16.4	Oh yes, hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me.
0:20.6	It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out.
0:23.6	Hang you by your wrist from the ceiling for a few days.
0:26.6	I've got the chain stealing my office.
0:29.6	Keep them well oiled in case they're ever needed.
0:32.6	Right, off we go.
0:33.6	Don't think of running off now.
0:35.6	It'll be worse for you if you do.
0:39.5	I'm Heather Pricewright. And I'm Alex Dallelberg. Welcome to episode five. What are we talking about
0:45.1	this week? We were talking about so many monsters. A lot of monsters. This week we read chapters
0:50.5	14, Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback. Dragon.
0:56.9	15, the forbidden forest.
1:03.0	This podcast will contain spoilers for this and future Harry Potter books.
1:05.6	Adult language, and plenty of it.
1:07.0	And adult themes.
1:12.9	This week's adult themes are cruel and unusual punishment, attachment parenting strategies of dragons, astrology, beastiality, because y'all, who did what to which to make a centaur,
1:21.3	drinking the blood of the innocent, and peer pressure, which is rude. Those are really good adult
1:26.5	themes this week. They're all for grown-ups. Those are really good adult themes this week.
1:28.8	They're all for grown up.
	...

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