A crazed female Persian vegan animal rights act that is shot and wounded several people

at YouTube's California headquarters yesterday and then killed herself.

And of course there's nothing funny about that, but that's not going to stop me.

After the shooting, Democrats immediately called for new laws forcing Persians to eat more

meat while Republicans defended the American right to indulge in cultish dietary fads with

no nutritional science to back them up.

Diane Feinstein told reporters, quote, only in America do we have Persians running around

without enough beef steak in their bellies to keep them from becoming homicidal.

Unquote, while Republican Mike Lee said quote, when our founders wrote the Constitution,

they foresaw that there might one day come a time when crazed females might indulge

in idiotic diets that just make them want to kill and kill.

Unquote.

Meanwhile, CNN covered the story by interviewing several children who had been traumatized

by watching the incident on CNN.

Allison Camarota announced quote, these are the young people who will save our country while

the young people who wept hysterically and tried to hurl themselves out the studio window

to avoid being used to push the network's political agenda.

The last word went to Donald Trump who tweeted quote, my thoughts and prayers are with our

wonderful ranchers who supply so much great American beef to so many terrific American

restaurants.

Unquote.

Everyone agreed that the YouTube incident provided a welcome relief from talking about

...