Which of course led to the 200 years of conflict, thanks to the cultural contamination by the SS Emily Post.

This will be the first time that delegations from each of the three planets have been in the same place,

so we need everyone to be on their fanciest behavior.

You've all been given a dossier with the various protocols involved.

I've talked to the director down at Starboards, director, the bartender down at Starboards,

we're going to have real non-replicated hors d'oeuvres on hand, and acids and bases for some of the ambassadors.

So everyone just needs to be on their best behavior.

Guys, I'm sorry I'm late for the meeting, but I was cutting off my pants, so I've got cut off uniform now. Pretty cool, right? I like it. Yeah. I like that the pockets are showing at the bottom. Yeah, the pockets show through now. Why did you decide to do that to your dress uniform, sir? You know, just, you know, I can't be pinned down.

Sorry, I'm't be pinned down.

Uh, sorry I'm late to the senior staff meeting, guys, but I wanted to let you know that I have turned over an entirely new leaf.

It's not the leaf where you don't attend meetings you're not invited to.

No, that I'm still going to keep doing, but from now on, I will no

longer in any way suppress the urge to have sex with whatever I want to. Bye. What? Uh,

commander, there's something I should let you know. Uh, my entire family is visiting from the moon

tomorrow for like three or four weeks. They wanted to come visit. They said they hadn't seen me since they tried to kill me. The last time I visited, when the captain made me visit, they're just coming by to say hi. Where are they staying? They said they were going to sleep in the hall. I don't really have enough room in my quarter, so they were just going to set up some hammocks in the hallway. We've got some empty rooms. We can put them in some empty rooms. Yeah, they'd probably prefer the hallway. They get claustrophobic. Ooh, or the holodeck. We could make the holodeck like their home, and they'll feel right at home. We could also put them in the shuttle bay with Lieutenant Carl. They'd probably be pretty comfortable there.

Captain Commander, it's me, Lieutenant Carl.

Uh-huh.

I just wanted to let you guys know we can't use the shuttle bay right now. It's infested with fleas and lice.

What happened, Lieutenant Carl?

The dogs probably brought him in from the outdoors. The whole thing's infested. I got a bomb in the shuttle bay. I don't know where me and Lieutenant's son and my wife's body are going to sleep. Dr. Zonald's into the bridge. Go ahead, doctor. Uh, I, a bunch of people have the poops. Oh, no. The space poops or the regular? Honestly, I can't really tell the difference.

When you're in space and you have the poops, it's...

Can you run some tests?

...