I'd like to bear my testimony. I know the church is. I know that Joseph Smith was and that he had and that he did and that sometimes I wish that I could too.

I know that President Monson is the president of our church

and that the Leohona was round and that the sword of Leaven was sharp and that the golden plates were shiny.

I know that tradition is perhaps the single most important invisible influence in our beliefs and world view and the way we live our daily lives.

I know that using words like perhaps can create a lot of leeway. I know that apologetics

makes me want to scream and that 2 plus 3 is 4. I know the road is narrow and the yoke is easy and

the many are called. I know that we must all endure until. I know that folklore is more than just Paul Bunyan. I know that religious devotion is

created and defended and is often more important than kindness or compassion or tact.

I know that prideful people have a problem with pride

and I know all about the world.

I know all about the world. I know that Memerats are personal narrative accounts of firsthand experiences with the bizarre and supernatural

that they maintain and validate and justify belief.

I know that emotion is powerful and real and that memory is malleable. I know that human beings are very good at being human everywhere.

I know that hope creates conviction.

I know that the culture and the gospel are two separate things in many people's minds.

I know the rugs where we sweep our dirty laundry. I know that false dichotomies are false.

I know that magic is the idea that we can bind invisible powers to our own personal

will. I know that when I pray that I'm speaking and when I bless that I'm speaking when I bless that I'm comforting and when I fast that I'm hungry.

I know that the priesthood is for all worthy males who are both worthy and male. I know that Dumbo's special

feather was black. I know that three patterns give a sense of wholeness and completeness, be they structures of society,

concepts of divinity, or simple patterns of speech. I know that people all too easily confuse the symbol for the idea and

reify abstraction and cling desperately to the absurd. I know that I'm sarcastic and irreverent and very mostly true to what I feel.

...