So here we are. It is the day after the big Republican debate, and we will break it all down for you.

Plus, I get in a Twitter war with Patton Oswald. If you don't know him, he's the short fat guy who does the voice of the rat in Ratatooie.

I'll explain why that's important in our Things I Hate segment. Plus, Miley Cyrus will make a very special appearance.

That will leave you gagging. I'm Ben Shapiro. This is The Ben Shapiro Show. Tend to demonize people because don't care about your feelings.

All right, so here we are, and it is the day after the big Republican debate. And let me just say this.

Donald Trump ended up the victor. I can give my quick debate grades here and go through all the

candidates, even though only a few of them are relevant. Donald Trump gets an A. The reason that Donald Trump did well last night is because Donald Trump is, as I've always said, a hammer in search of a nail. He found more nails than puppies last night. And meanwhile, Rubio, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz were busy slapping at each other. And Chris Christie was busy slapping at Rand Paul and and Rand Paul was busy slapping at Marco Rubio, and John Kasich was busy being the most self-important, obnoxious windbag anybody's ever met, so no one cares about John Kasich, and no one knows why he's there, aside from doing the karate chop hands and just raging against the machine. And so there was a lot to get to here, but what the only thing that really

matters is that nothing really touched Trump. Nothing touched Trump. There were so many opportunities

for someone to go after Trump. Nobody did it. The only person who went after Trump at all was

Jeb Bush, and that ended extraordinarily poorly for Jeb Bush, as we will get to in just a moment.

So Trump gets an A. I gave Ted Cruz a B. He should have done better. He didn't do as well because he got drawn into these long exchanges with Marco Rubio that we'll talk about. Rubio, I gave a C, and that's because Rubio's always smooth, but that smoothness is a problem for him. Because if you're sort of the white knight in shining armor, for lack of a better term, and you're the guy who can't be touched, you're the brand new car, fresh off the lot, the scratch, the dent on you looks a lot bigger than the guy who's been through the mill a couple of times like Ted Cruz. So the fact that Rubio actually got hit in the face a couple of times last night by Rand Paul and by Ted Cruz and by Donald Trump, it put a little bit, he lost a little bit of the sheen, and so that that was not good for him,

which in turn means that Chris Christie did better than he was supposed to do.

I gave him a C also.

I didn't think he was great by any stretch of the imagination, but he was helped by the fact that

everyone was attacking Rubio.

Rand Paul had a good debate, mainly because he served as a tool

to whack at Marco Rubio, and he did so quite effectively, actually, on the Gang of Eight immigration

bill, which for some reason, Rubio had been able to escape up till now in the debate. Again, for all

of this, Donald Trump is just sitting off to the side of the room and laughing and laughing and

shortling like the

fat lion that he is. And eventually, Jeb Bush tries to prod him with a stick, and that prompts

all the entertainment value. So let's go through this a little bit. Let's start with clip one. There was

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