Ep 379 Emotional Fluency, Acting, and Getting It Wrong Sometimes with Victoria Shalet and Adam James
Marriage Therapy Radio
MTR
4.6 • 690 Ratings
🗓️ 1 July 2025
⏱️ 46 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Zach sits down with couple Victoria Shalet and Adam James for a thoughtful and honest conversation about navigating the complexities of partnership. Drawing from their experiences in psychotherapy and performance, they unpack how their personal and professional worlds inform the way they connect, communicate, and occasionally clash.
Through light banter and open reflection, they explore moments of conflict, the importance of language in de-escalating tension, and the ways in which curiosity and humor keep them grounded. The episode offers listeners a window into a real, evolving relationship—complete with vulnerability, insight, and a shared desire to do better.
Key Takeaways
-
Words carry emotional weight
Replacing phrases like “that’s crazy” with “that’s surprising” can reduce defensiveness and create more space for empathy. -
Curiosity is a relationship strength
Being able to ask your partner, “What’s really going on here?” rather than jumping to conclusions can keep you connected even in disagreement. -
Repair isn’t a performance
What matters most is showing up after a rupture and trying again, not always getting it perfect in the moment. -
Therapy and acting intersect
Understanding roles, scripts, and self-reflection can enrich how we navigate relational dynamics—but they don’t make us immune to the mess. -
Laughter lightens the load
Humor isn’t just a relief valve—it’s a tool for staying close during tough conversations.
Guest Info
Victoria Shalet
A former actor turned psychotherapist, Victoria now works with clients to build emotional resilience and deeper self-awareness. Her therapeutic lens brings nuance and reflection to how she shows up in her relationship. Learn more at spaceinme.com.
Adam James
Adam is a seasoned British actor with credits across television, theatre, and film, including roles in Doctor Foster, I May Destroy You, and Belgravia. His insight into communication, presence, and emotional fluency offers a unique complement to his partner’s therapeutic perspective. View his work at IMDb.
Key Takeaways Guest Info
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, everybody. Welcome. And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio. My name is Zach Brittle. And this week, we are headed across the pond. I'm talking today to my friends Victoria and Adam. They are in London. Victoria Shalet is a therapist there. Adam, James, is an actor. You've probably seen him in some stuff. Victoria was |
| 0:22.7 | herself a child actor for a while before transitioning into therapy. And I met them about a year |
| 0:28.1 | and a half ago and just really enjoyed hearing their story and understanding a little bit of how |
| 0:32.1 | they make their relationship work. We talked today about how their experience in the theater world impacts and affects the way that they show up in relationships. |
| 0:42.0 | I got to ask some questions I haven't really ever thought of before, even though my kid is in the drama world. |
| 0:47.3 | I want to give a shout out to some of my heroes of the week. |
| 0:50.8 | Taylor and Kay have become new subscribers to my blog, which is called Stuff I Write. I'm trying to put |
| 0:55.7 | something out about once a week and just exercise my muscles. I'd be grateful if you'd go to |
| 1:00.6 | stuff I write.com, become a subscriber. I'm writing about things that aren't relationship oriented. |
| 1:05.6 | So if that's of interest to you, then check it out. I also want to say hi to Dan McKeever, |
| 1:10.8 | who is faithful to write me |
| 1:13.3 | with some pep talks from time to time. He really enjoyed our series with Dr. Shannon Curry. |
| 1:18.3 | If you haven't checked that out, she's a sharp one and really enjoyed chatting with her |
| 1:22.0 | about her perspective on therapy and relationships. She was, for now, at least, my last run at |
| 1:27.4 | having a co-host to hang out with |
| 1:29.4 | and try and explore topics individually. I'm going to shift now toward interviewing couples. I've got a |
| 1:34.4 | whole bunch lined up. I'm very excited. Come across a wide spectrum of experiences and personality types. |
| 1:40.7 | And I might also say relationship health. Some folks are doing great. Some people are not doing |
| 1:45.5 | that great and they've all agreed to come on and share their experience with me and with you. |
| 1:49.0 | We're going to start with Victoria and Adam from London. This is a very cool conversation. Stick |
| 1:54.3 | around. I'm glad to talk to you guys. I started this thing, Victoria and I, or Victoria may know this, |
| 2:01.7 | but I started this thing a while back, Adam, that I wanted to interview people who were married |
... |
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