Hey, everybody. Welcome and thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio. My name is Zach Brittle. I'm here again with Dr. Shannon Curry. Last week, we traded professional perspectives about how to do therapy in our different contexts. This week, we get a little bit more personal with Shannon about her relationship with her husband, Ty. She points me toward a researcher named Tai to Shiro, not her husband,

that has some thoughts about what makes relationships work. I loved listening to Shannon

make me smarter about Tai to Shiro, and I realized that actually knew of him before, but not in a

relationship context. I'm familiar with a couple of his books, specifically the science of

socially awkward and why that's awesome. That's a pretty cool read. I think Shannon is referring to another book that I've not read, which is called The Science of Happily Ever After, which is about what really matters in the search for true love. She introduces me to a new concept that I'm actually crazy about, in part because it starts with C, and you know I'm obsessed with

alliteration, and I love things like creativity and compassion and courage, but also because

it's an extremely sound concept that I just haven't given much thought to. It's the principle of

conscientiousness. We talk about what it means to be conscientious in a relationship, and it's

pretty exciting to hear her talk about her relationship and some of what makes it work,

including ties, conscientiousness, and some other factors that I think you'll enjoy hearing about.

This is the second of three chats that Shannon and I have together. I think you'll enjoy it because

this is a very cool conversation. around can i ask you about your own

relationship of course i love talking about that you are married to tie you said something to me

interesting that i think people need to hear um and i want to make sure that like you'll know what

i'm talking about so i'm going to say i'm just going to say a little bit of it. And then you take it from there. But you talked about, um, or said to me one time, like, he's such a good guy, but maybe he's not like the sexiest or the, the, the hottest or something. Like, because like, people aim for like these really hot guys or tall guys or whatever but the target is

a kind guy and do you remember what you're talking about i don't think you're you're certainly

weren't putting him down but you're sort of like i'm so glad i gave up my dream of the

of the hunky hunker type it was i think so he actually is hot and uh that i think so too

that's why i think i'm a little bit surprised. I don't want. I sometimes feel bad disclosing because, but I think what I might have been referring to is when I was dating and what I was looking for. I had no idea what he looked like. And what had happened. Wait, what do you mean you had no idea what you look like? Well, it was Tinder and he was actually, he was wearing a giraffe costume in his photo. And then he used to

work on an oil rig. And so it was his giraffe costume. And then he basically was on the rig most months

out of the year and sort of like hard hat stuff. But because of this talk I had gone to at the American Psych Association

conference, I run by Tai Tishiro, not my husband, different Thai, but also wonderful. He's a

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