Don't you dare because my heart is broken. My heart is officially broken into a hundred

million pieces because this goes out to you Blake Shelton.

You don't have to throw back your pretty pink lemonade shooter and lean a little closer.

You don't have to keep on smiling that smile that's driving me wild.

The wind and night is almost over. Maybe in the middle of a moonlit Chevy bench

seat and do a little bit of country song hanging on.

You don't have to keep me falling like this. But sure be cool if you did.

Yeah, those are the horrible lyrics of a Blake Shelton song. Yes, I love that song.

And yes, I still, not in a jocular manner, listen to Blake Shelton.

But only when I am alone. Welcome to page seven. He's engaged.

He's off the market. And I think literally nobody cares except for me and Gwen Stefani's mother.

That they are engaged.

They are probably over it at this point because this will be the third marriage for Mr. Shelton.

I just looked up. How dare you? And how many Stefani has been with just this second marriage.

But the third time is a charm. They've been together for years so much so that I think you've already sung that song on this.

This show because I was never taking note of the pink lemonade shooter and being like, oh, I want that.

Yeah, that's what that's about right right now. It's the worst Blake Shelton song.

I love that I have never have always been wanted to be hit on by someone be like, yeah, God of fuck me.

But sure be cool if you did. And I think that I just would. I would immediately have sex with that person.

And I was like, you're right. It would be pretty cool if we had sex right now.

If you like, he's a serial monogamous. It seems that he and Gwen Stefani got together mere months after the divorce, the ink was drawing on the divorce papers for old Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, by the way.

Oh, yeah, but she's already she's remarried to some sort of liar cop that, you know, everybody knows that he's a liar.

...