Ep 373 Building a Friendship That Lasts Beyond Parenting

Marriage Therapy Radio

MTR

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Therapy, Health & Fitness, Marriage, Relationships, Mental Health, Education

4.6 • 690 Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Zach is joined by Darren and LaVerna Wilk to explore the journey of maintaining a thriving marriage through the transitions of parenting, fostering, and embracing the empty nest phase. With over 35 years of marriage and five daughters, they share insights on shifting from parenting to partnership, cultivating friendship, and keeping their relationship adventurous.

They discuss planning intentional "midlife crises" to infuse novelty into their marriage, the importance of repair as a core practice, and how prioritizing their relationship has strengthened their family. Their experiences as foster parents and therapists provide a unique perspective on building resilience and connection in long-term relationships.Best Marriages

Key Takeaways

Embracing the Empty Nest: LaVerna reflects on finding joy and predictability in an empty house, and how her relationships with her daughters have flourished as they gained independence.

Intentional Midlife Adventures: The Wilks share how planning shared adventures, like off-road Jeep trips, has brought excitement and growth to their marriage.
The Power of Repair: They emphasize that conflict resolution is about building the muscle of repair, trusting that they can return to and resolve issues when ready.
Marriage as the Foundation: Prioritizing their marriage, even when it meant disappointing their children, has been key to their enduring partnership.
Reconnection Rituals: After time apart, they use intentional rituals to reconnect and realign emotionally, ensuring their bond remains strong.

Darren Wilk, R.C.C., M.A., C.G.T. and LaVerna Wilk, R.C.C., M.C., C.G.T.

Co-founders of Best Marriages
Certified Gottman Therapist and Advanced Trainer

Best Marriages

Couples counseling center based in Langley, BC
Offers Gottman Method therapy, workshops, and intensive sessions
Visit Best Marriages

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody, welcome.
0:03.4	And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio.
0:05.8	My name is Zach Brittle, and I am so happy to be able to share this interview with you.
0:11.2	These are my friends Darren and Laverna Wilk.
0:13.9	They are some of my early mentors in the Gottman Method.
0:17.3	When I was first onboarding with the Institute, these guys took me under their wing and kind of showed me the ropes.
0:24.5	And we've become friends.
0:26.8	About a month ago, Rebecca and I went up to Vancouver.
0:29.0	We stayed at their house for a couple of nights.
0:31.7	And we just talked and talked and talked.
0:33.4	It was super fun.
0:34.7	You'll learn a little bit about them here, of course, in a second.
0:36.9	But what I want to say is I walked away feeling like they're getting right.
0:40.7	They're getting empty nesting right.
0:42.5	So that's what we talk about.
0:44.0	We talk about how they maintain their friendship, how they think about parenting, how they think about their relationship.
0:49.3	They are both therapists.
0:51.6	But for today, they're just my friends.
0:54.1	And folks who I admire and appreciate
0:56.6	and I'm delighted for you to get to know. Before we start, I wanted to again mention that
1:03.1	there's some cool stuff going on behind the scenes at our Patreon page. You can become a member
1:07.4	of Patreon at patreon.com slash marriage therapy radio or you can go to
	...

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