This is infants on Thrones, the philosophies of men,

mingled with humans.

We are the core. Yay! My dearly beloved brothers and sisters, welcome back to another what I am sure to be will become a real home dinger of a general conference.

I'm going to lay it all out for you right now. We've got an auditing and statistical report this time coming to you with a lovely voice of a lady person.

Elder Oaks is going to talk like he usually does. We'll have some songs.

We've got a fantastic talk about tithing and who doesn't love to hear from President Ukdorf he'll talk and

we've got a lady speaker and then a very very special guest from the days of your a prophet seared

revelator our surprise guest will close out conference today and we're just so thrilled and excited to hear

who this fantastic mystery guest is and what he's going to have to say and let's go

ahead and start with an opening prayer as we normally do.

It's going to be great.

Heavenly Father, thanks for letting us come to conference today and thank you that we could hear these words and please bless us that we'll take them into

our lives and you know.

I'm just Christ. I'm going to.

Dear brethren, I am honored to submit the auditing and statistical reports for this great conference.

I'd start with some joke about financial management not being part of women's

eternal gender roles or a warning that a woman and a man could never say, be ward clerks

or go out to dinner together without inevitably bumping uglies.

But that would just be too easy.

Many of you have sincere questions about your tithes and offerings. Are your fast offerings reaching the poor?

What is the salary or modest stipend paid to current church leaders?

Just how many tens of billions of dollars of assets does the church have

...