Ep 361 The Enneagram, Marriage, and Finding Joy in the Mess with Christa and Wes Hardin
Marriage Therapy Radio
MTR
4.6 • 690 Ratings
🗓️ 25 February 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Zach sits down with Christa and Wes Hardin, founders of the Enneagram and Marriage platform https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/. Christa, a seasoned relationship coach with a Master's in Clinical Psychology, has spent nearly two decades helping couples build stronger connections. Alongside her husband Wes, a physician assistant in family practice, they explore how the Enneagram has transformed their 24-year marriage and parenting journey.
The conversation dives into the dynamics of Christa as a Type 7 (The Enthusiast) and Wes as a Type 1 (The Reformer), exploring how their differences create both challenges and opportunities for growth. They discuss how personality-driven conflicts, like bedtime routines and parenting approaches, can either drive couples apart or deepen connection when handled with understanding and flexibility.
Zach, Christa, and Wes also reflect on the evolution of marriage, the value of "practicing" in relationships, and what they'd tell their younger selves about love, commitment, and personal growth. Whether you're an Enneagram enthusiast or just curious about how personality influences relationships, this episode offers practical wisdom, laughter, and honest insights.
Key Takeaways- Christa explains how the Enneagram helps couples quickly identify strengths, shadows, and growth areas.
- As a structured, detail-oriented Type 1, Wes values routine and precision. Christa, as a free-spirited Type 7, thrives on spontaneity and joy.
- They share how understanding their core motivations has helped them balance health, fun, and family life.
- Both emphasize that marriage is ongoing practice—not perfection.
- They discuss how "expansiveness practices" help them navigate everyday challenges, like differing bedtime preferences, while honoring each other’s needs.
- Christa: "Don’t put your partner on a pedestal. Love them for who they are, not who you expect them to be."
- Wes: "Focus on what brings you joy together, and you'll naturally avoid much of the pain couples face."
- They share how understanding their children’s Enneagram types (a 4, 9, and 7/6) has transformed their parenting approach.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, everybody, welcome. And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy |
| 0:05.7 | and my name is Zach Brittle. And I'm excited to be here with you. I am going to be rolling out a new |
| 0:11.2 | series here where I interview couples about how they make their relationship work. I've done |
| 0:16.2 | four interviews already and today I'm going to roll out the first. But before we do that, I wanted to acknowledge and thank you, those of you who reached out to me after the Boat Night episode, |
| 0:26.9 | that seemed to really strike a chord for a lot of people. And I got a handful of interesting |
| 0:30.5 | messages from people who had points of view on what I was saying. I want to especially thank |
| 0:35.9 | Kimberly. Kimberly, your note was so precious. |
| 0:39.3 | I really appreciated hearing from you. There is no way that you can offend me with providing feedback |
| 0:45.9 | about your experience and your perspective on what it is that is making you tick and what it is |
| 0:51.3 | that you think would be helpful to me. I just really appreciate |
| 0:54.7 | you taking the time to specifically address a couple of things that came up. And I just want you |
| 0:59.1 | to know that I heard you and I appreciate you. And in general, I welcome your emails. I welcome |
| 1:04.4 | your feedback on episode topics. I welcome your feedback on specific things that came up for you. |
| 1:09.3 | I will do my best to respond. |
| 1:11.5 | What I'm going to do is try and respond in Patreon, just to be a way to let people behind the |
| 1:18.0 | scenes and give you some insight into what's going on for me. I also threw up a couple of videos |
| 1:22.1 | from my vacation that I just got back on. One of them is a kind of an if you know, you know, |
| 1:26.7 | video for people who have been long time listeners. |
| 1:29.8 | The other one is me talking pretty academically about why marriage is kind of like a water slide. |
| 1:39.4 | So if that's of interest to you and you're not yet a member of the Patreon community, please do that. |
| 1:44.1 | That is the best way to support Marriage Therapy Radio financially and to help us. If that's of interest to you and you're not yet a member of the Patreon community, please do that. |
| 1:49.4 | That is the best way to support Marriage Therapy Radio financially and to help us keep the lights on over here. |
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