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Be free gynecological care unless you're a woman, then you have to marry a guy with insurance.

Under Obamacare, you are forced to pay for abortions unless you're a nun and then you are

forced to perform abortions preferably on other nuns while Satan laughs and screams,

I love Obamacare in a terrifying, echoic voice that seems to contain the despairing

cries of the damned. Under Obamacare, your insurance covers any health expense over the

$70,000 deductible. This is not as expensive as it sounds because there are no available

doctors. You can, however, listen to all news reports about what a great president Obama

was and how the other collapse of the signature program is the fault of the Republicans who

didn't vote for it. After listening to the pro-Obama reports, you'll be put to death

and turned into soil and green, a process that is not covered under the insurance you don't

have to pay for the doctor who doesn't exist but whom you couldn't afford if you did.

And you'll be eaten. So that's Obamacare. And while Democrats in Congress say the law

only needs to be tweaked, most people who use Obamacare feel that the Democrats need

to have their noses tweaked and then stretched away from their faces and then snap back so

hard that their entire body's vibrate like a plucked string and then slowly shimmy out

of Washington so that they don't do any more damage. Now, let's compare the Senate bill.

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