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Older and Wider Podcast

Ep 340. The one with the beach incident and the wild life!

Older and Wider Podcast

Older and Wider Podcast

Comedy

4.71.7K Ratings

🗓️ 3 April 2026

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On the podcast this week Judith is in Cornwall with the boys and there has been a rather dramatic toilet incident! Jenny has been back at the Horniman Museum with Arlo and she reveals all the wild life they got their hands on! Jenny also shares Arlo & Geoff's tape obsession and she confesses to giving in to some wellness....all of this plus culture, a mustard update and an unusual belated Birthday gift.


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Transcript

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0:00.0

There we go.

0:02.0

We just said goodbye to the twins.

0:03.9

They've gone out of the door, Judith.

0:05.5

They were very charming this morning.

0:08.8

Stanley's got a morning voice.

0:10.7

He's sort of, hello, like that.

0:13.8

I think his voice may have broken already.

0:18.8

Oh, God.

0:19.8

It's been lovely, but I know, I've been exhausting. You're in Cornwall, you're in

0:23.3

Cornwall with them. I'm in Cornwall. And is their mother working in another room? Has she

0:28.1

squirrels herself away? She's taken day off today, but it's the first day that she's taken off and we

0:32.1

have been here since. It's Thursday. Yeah, since Sunday I think. So we've done a lot of childcare actually. That's three days solid, Judith. Yeah, it has been quite solid. So I'm driving back today because Ellen's moving. It doesn't stop, does it? I mean, honestly. Oh, Jesus God, no, this is awful timing. I mean, she waited a long time for this, did Ellen. I mean, so is she moving out this weekend? Tomorrow, so I'm going

0:55.1

back early. Oh God, Judith. No, you can't do this. No, no, I mean, she's got, she's hired, you know, men with the van sort of thing. Yes, I know, but even so, it's, um, it's a slog. It's a slog. It's a slog of a job. I don't care if you've got 10 then helping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it is, I know it is, and should be very touch you with me if I make wrong decisions or indeed any decisions.

1:14.2

Don't, don't care if you've got 10 men helping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it is. I know it is. And should be very touch you with me if I make wrong decisions or indeed any decisions. Don't make any decisions at all. I think, yeah, that's right. I think background cheerfulness. Do you think you can manage that, Judith? Well, background cheerfulness. For a bit. I mean, well, I'm going to try. I'm going to try. I'm going to try. Yeah. I feel my job is to go there with a kettle because you always want the kettle, don't you?

1:33.3

I don't know whether it should be going with a bottle of champagne, to be quite honest. It's taken some time.

1:39.8

It's exciting, but yeah, I've got a few busy days ahead of me. Yeah. And how far away from your house is this new house? Oh, it's only about 15 minutes drive. It's really easy, easy. And can you park outside? Yes, you can walk outside. Okay, that's easy, isn't it? Like the one that's the Anna bought. Oh, what do you mean, unlike the one that's the end of it? I thought, which we said? Oh yes. Oh yes. We shouldn't have children then. You shouldn't have children. It was a charming house, but it was on the curb. It was on the curb, Judith. I can understand why they had to move. Do you get Phoebe's place where I have to go to her in London, right? It's not far and I could get a bus and I should get a bus. I will get a fucking bus everybody before you start sending me any emails. But sometimes I just have and I had to pay through the nose to park on her road. Oh, did it? Through the nose. Is it a metre? No. Well it's a pay by phone, Judith. What do you mean metres? I don't have such thing. I mean, there are very few meters left these days, very few. Well, which is just as well because we don't have cash. But it was a turn of phrase. No, you don't need cash for a meter anymore. No. So, but he only needs a fucking app, don't you? don't you? Of course you need an app, yes. So how much does it cost you to go there? I think it's about...

2:54.1

I think it's about... So, but he only needs a fucking app, don't you? Of course you need an app, yes.

2:51.4

So how much does it cost you to go to go there? I think it's about, I think it's about four pounds an hour. Oh, goly, that is a lot, isn't it? It is a lot of money, isn't it? Yes, it is. I just wouldn't go. I should stop going. You know, it's just one of the excuses. So, lovely time.

3:08.2

Weather's not been great, though, has it?

3:10.2

I mean, that's good do with some... they know there's what it's just one of the excuses so uh lovely time that weather's not been

3:09.0

great though has it well i mean that's good do with some sun here we've actually it's been pretty

3:13.9

good here it's a glorious morning this morning it's very sad to leave it and the beach we've been on

...

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