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Marriage Therapy Radio

Ep 340 The Art of Apologizing

Marriage Therapy Radio

Cloud10

Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8679 Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2024

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Laura shares her pride in completing a triathlon and Zach chimes in with his marathon experiences. The discussion transitions into deeper relationship topics, focusing on how to apologize effectively and, just as importantly, how to receive an apology. Zach emphasizes that successful relationships are not just about knowing how to apologize, but also about knowing how to accept a partner’s apology. They explore common pitfalls in apologizing, such as using the word “but,” and highlight how defensiveness can block genuine repair efforts. The hosts reference the work of Harriet Lerner and her book Why Won’t You Apologize? to guide their discussion on the do’s and don’ts of apologizing. Key points include avoiding justification in apologies, focusing on one’s own actions, and not using an apology to manipulate or silence a partner’s feelings. They conclude with reflections on the importance of patience and openness, particularly when building trust and navigating long-term emotional injuries. Episode Highlights: How to Apologize Effectively: Laura breaks down the steps to making a meaningful apology, emphasizing the importance of owning your actions and avoiding justifications that can diminish the apology’s impact. Receiving an Apology: Zach explains how receiving an apology with gratitude is a crucial part of repair, allowing space for ongoing healing even if the hurt is not immediately resolved. Avoiding the “But” in Apologies: Laura highlights how using “but” in an apology can negate the acknowledgment of harm and frustrate repair attempts. Building Trust Through Repeated Repairs: The discussion emphasizes that long-term healing in relationships is only possible through repeated, genuine efforts to repair and demonstrate change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Sitting quietly once you've made the house all shiny.

0:04.0

Down time can be just fine, plain bangers from them 90s.

0:08.0

Tea break.

0:09.0

Lunt break.

0:10.0

Maybe listen to the outbreak.

0:12.0

Sometimes it's not time for some tombola, right?

0:15.0

It's enjoying lasagna time, chilling with a book time, or time to visit your nan time go on play some other time

0:22.7

put your phone down

0:23.9

Tombollah

0:24.7

Open for fun

0:26.5

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0:28.8

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0:29.4

At pure gym

0:31.3

Whatever you're here for

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We're here for it

0:33.8

So whether you're here to meet your goals

0:35.9

Or meet your gals Take a bit of me time, or a

0:41.3

weight off, getting back on the bike, or filling the tea while you spin. They said what?

0:49.3

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0:55.7

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...

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