This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without judgment,

pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.

Hi, this is Annie Grace at this naked mind podcast. I'm here with Barbara. Welcome, Barbara. Thanks for being here.

Thanks for inviting me. It's awesome to have you. So why don't you take us back to the beginning? Like, where did drinking start for you? What was your early experiences with alcohol like?

Well, my family were fine. I mean, the whole family was good. We had alcohol in the house all the time. My folks would have a cocktail with neighbors or friends or would have you. But, you know, we were not given drinks or anything, but in high school.

There were there was a lot of beer and so, you know, I shared a beer too and that's where I started and I liked it. And so it went from there to, you know, drinking through high school and college.

And really continuing just with beer and a little maybe some hard spirits at times, but mainly beer. And then when I started teaching in Arizona, I was introduced to scotch and water.

I didn't like it at first, but that's when the drinking really, really started. But I still was, I was a partying kind of person, but I didn't drink during the day and I held my job and that sort of thing.

I didn't really begin to notice that drinking was a problem until I got married because my husband, his stepmother had been an alcoholic and I did have alcoholism in my family too, but.

He really, he would, he would have a glass of wine or drink, but he was not a drinker and I still really liked to drink. So, you know, I would drink at parties and that didn't go well from time to time and then eventually it played a role in our divorce.

And I was 29. So I had been single for quite a while, but everybody seemed to be getting married at about the same time I did.

And so he just barely ever drink, but did he start to sort of talk to you about your drinking or was it pretty.

He didn't like it. He really didn't like it. And we had small children and he didn't think that was appropriate. And of course, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I thought it was this peachy fine.

And after the divorce, then I had to raise my children by myself, basically, and I would drink with friends and just continued to drink and drink and drink.

But I never, I always held my job. I worked in the hospitality and restaurant business almost all of my adult life. So I was always around alcohol.

And it never seemed to face my working. But then after my second husband and I got married, we would sit down every evening for a cocktail.

And that began to be a problem because I drink too fast and I would have one after another. And, you know, he would try to caution me. He was, he was nice about it, but he didn't like it.

And then, you know, that led to some difficult days, but finally, just about a year ago or so. And I had, I had thought over the years, you know, maybe I'll try AA, but I AA was too structured as far as I was concerned. It was you, you had a disease.

And therefore you had to cure yourself and always, you'd always be an alcoholic.

So when I bought your book, I just happened to see it. And it just explained things in a different way. I really liked the way you write.

And I liked the way you approach the end of drinking. And so, and I felt, when I finally thought that I would try your 30 day experience, I, I like the idea that you thought, well, okay, at the end of the 30 days.

You could moderate your drinking. Well, I knew as the, the days went by that that wasn't going to happen for me. So I haven't had a drink since.

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