This episode is about healing trauma. Today's caller, Anne, is a musician who wants to expand her creative expression but feels blocked due to the sexual abuse she experienced. She has done a lot of personal development work but still has difficulty fully expressing herself. She wants guidance on how to navigate through her trauma to heal it.

 

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode295]

 

Trauma impacts and/or injures the nervous system. When a person experiences extreme trauma the brain goes into survival, which means fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The brain is always on the lookout for danger and it is exhausting. That is why we experience fear and anxiety.

 

I can't label what "extreme" is because two people can have the same situation happen to them and one person may register in their nervous system as not that big of a deal, but another person with the same circumstances can register it as a really big deal.

 

When we are healing trauma it is not about reliving it. It is about providing space for somatic emotional release and working with a person to regulate their nervous system. It is about coming out of the survival brain and moving back into the "rest and digest" part of the nervous system, moving from the sympathetic nervous system which is on alert, and into the parasympathetic nervous system.

 

The personal development/self-help world can be misleading, perhaps even damaging, for people that have experienced extensive trauma like rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, racial trauma, etc. Often, there's an expectation or ethos in the personal development industry that you just need to shift your mindset about something and find the lesson of it. Or, that challenging experiences make you stronger or you can meditate your way through anything. It leaves a lot of people feeling like they are failing at personal development.

 

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Anne's Question:

Anne has been trying to heal trauma from sexual abuse and rape and would like guidance on how to navigate through it to shift it.

 

Anne's Key Insights and Ahas:

• She experienced sexual abuse.
• She is a musician.
• She has depression and feels blocked.
• She feels she cannot fully express herself.
• She has done energy work and spoken to counselors.
• She has done the temper tantrum technique.
• She is having a biologically correct response to what is happening.
• She has had bad experiences with the medical system.
• She trusts her intuition but not her decision-making process.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Give herself grace and understanding.
• Trust that she still has her innocence, expression, femininity, and sexuality.
• Acknowledge the progress she has made.
• Work with a trauma-trained therapist to help her regulate her nervous system.
• Nurture her creativeness and passion.
• Do not push through her fear.
• Have faith and trust her intuition to align with the right person to help.
• Realize she has been through a high level of trauma and she deserves a high level of support.

 

Takeaways:

• Look at the things you have bought into in the personal development world. Are there things that feel more motivational? Could they be hurting more than helping?
• Is it time to normalize the biologically correct behavior you're experiencing to find the right specialist to help you with it?
• Consider where you have trust issues. Find something to put your trust into even if it is your intuition.
• Be open to receiving support. Put it out there verbally and energetically.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

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@ChristineHassler on Instagram

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