Good morning. Welcome back to Monocycle, a weekly podcast by Man Repeller hosted by Leandre Medine.

That's me in the third person.

In this week's episode of Monocicle, I want to talk about our theme of the month, which is to let loose and relax.

You know, the concept of letting loose and relaxing probably seems so trivial on a baseline level.

Okay, yeah, so it's July.

I'm going to let loose.

I'm going to do what I want.

I'm going to go ham. I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to go ham.

I'm going to eat that second slice of cake and drink that third drink and skip work today and yada, yada, yada.

But for me, it's so much more than that. All right. I'm going to give you a little bit of context.

So I hadn't told this to anybody, not my own mom, not my mother-in-law.

This was just between my husband and me, but a couple of weeks ago, we went back in and did a second embryo transfer

and anticipated that in not telling anybody, if the news was bad, it would sting a little little less but I was acutely wrong of course

because finding out for the second time in three weeks that a perfectly good embryo didn't

stick on my shitty ass uterus I'm sorry I shouldn't say that okay an embryo didn't sit on my

perfectly fine uterus is still really hard to hear.

You know, they say that in IVF, the hardest process is the beginning when you're gearing up for the egg retrieval.

You're taking all of these pills and injecting yourself with all of these different liquid medications,

and you just feel like the craziest and most

depressing version of yourself and it lasts for so long and because you're in your head

through all of that because you're you you start to forget that there's a better

version of you you start to forget who you really are because you can't remember

...