Ep. 287 - Stop forcing yourself to "get over" your ex when you don't want to
How to Get Over Your Ex
Dorothy AB Johnson
4.7 • 577 Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2025
⏱️ 10 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You can't get over your ex. You've tried everything—journaling, therapy, unfollowing them, throwing yourself into work—but nothing sticks. Here's the uncomfortable truth: maybe you're stuck because you're forcing yourself to "move on" when deep down, that's not what you actually want. In this episode, I'm sharing a powerful mindset shift from a recent coaching session that completely transformed how my client approached her breakup healing. If you've been beating yourself up for still wanting your ex back, this episode will give you the permission and practical steps to find authentic relief without forcing yourself into an emotional state you're not ready for.
The Get Over Your Ex Program: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You were listening to How to Get Over Your Ex episode number 287. |
| 0:05.0 | Stop forcing yourself to get over your ex when you don't want to. |
| 0:19.5 | Welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time. |
| 0:25.6 | I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy. |
| 0:27.8 | Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy. |
| 0:35.7 | Hello, hello, beautiful brave hearts. Today we are diving into something that might feel controversial, but I promise will be so liberating. It's about why forcing yourself to get over your ex when you genuinely don't want to might actually be precisely what's keeping you stuck. So last night I was coaching a braveheart inside of the |
| 0:56.0 | Get Over Your X program. She had just joined that the night before. And luckily we had a coaching |
| 1:01.6 | call the very next day. And what happened was she broke up with her boyfriend last summer, |
| 1:06.1 | but by fall she started missing him intensely. You know, that gnawing, ache in your chest, growing stronger |
| 1:11.9 | each day as she realized she'd made a mistake. And what happened is she found herself beginning to obsessively |
| 1:20.0 | replay their good moments, wondering if there was any way to fix what she had broken. And then, |
| 1:25.8 | my friends, the worst happened. This is the moment that every person |
| 1:30.2 | dreads after a breakup. And I spent a lot of time thinking about it last night. And I can only imagine, |
| 1:37.1 | right? Think about it. You're texting your ex. The ex is texting you to meet up. Your heart is |
| 1:43.9 | like soaring with hope right maybe he was missing me |
| 1:46.5 | too maybe he wants to try again you're spending hours getting ready replaying what you'd say |
| 1:51.8 | and how you tell him you made a mistake and then you see him walk into the coffee shop that you're |
| 1:57.8 | meeting at and your chest is tight with like anticipation and |
| 2:01.4 | giddiness and then you hug and everything about him still feels like home but then you notice |
| 2:07.0 | something is different in his eyes right and then the words tumble out of his mouth each one |
| 2:13.3 | landing like a brick on your chest saying i wanted to to tell you in person, but I've started to |
| 2:18.8 | see someone new and it's getting serious. Oh my God. It's the worst feeling, right? So this is what |
... |
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