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The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women

Ep. 283: Are You “Being Nice”... or Stuck in the Fawning Trauma Response?

The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women

Casey McGuire Davidson: Sober Coach

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9752 Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the one who keeps the peace, says yes to everything, earns the gold stars, and never wants to disappoint anyone—even when it means abandoning yourself—this episode is for you. There’s a name for that pattern, and it’s not “being nice” or “just how you are.” It’s called fawning. Fawning is a trauma response—right alongside fight, flight, or freeze—where you people-please, appease, or perform to keep yourself safe in relationships. It’s the “please and appease” reflex: managing the emotions and needs of everyone around you to avoid conflict, rejection, or harm. And for so many high-achieving women, it can look like success… while quietly draining your mental health, your self-trust, and your sense of who you really are. I asked Dr. Ingrid Clayton, psychologist and author of the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, to share how to recognize the fawning trauma response, why high-achieving women are especially vulnerable to it, and practical tools to help you set boundaries, manage anxiety, and reconnect with yourself—without numbing out with alcohol. For the full shownotes, kindly go to this podcast episode link: https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/are-you-being-nice-or-stuck-in-the-fawning-trauma-response/ 4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking  — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Love The Podcast and Want To Say Thanks? ☕ Buy me a coffee! In the true spirit of Seattle, coffee is my love language. So if you want to support the hours that go into creating this show each week, click this link to buy me a coffee and I’ll run to the nearest Starbucks + lift a Venti Almond Milk Latte and toast to you! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hellosomeday  💕 Support the sponsors of The Hello Someday Podcast You can find all the special discounts mentioned on the show right here: https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/sponsors/ Leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I read every single review and they really help the podcast algorithm decide to share my show with a wider audience. Just click here, scroll below the latest episodes, and you’ll see the link to “rate and review this podcast”. I’ll be forever grateful to hear from you and to read reviews like this one from Laura, “I’ve listened to so many sober podcasts and The Hello Someday Podcast is by far THE BEST Sobriety Podcast out there for women. This podcast was key to me quitting alcohol. Casey’s practical tips and tricks are invaluable, with advice I haven’t heard anywhere else. If I could give this podcast 27 stars I would!!” Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Hello Sunday podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more.

0:10.2

I'm Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach, helping women create lives they love without alcohol.

0:18.4

But it wasn't that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle

0:23.1

of wine a night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together,

0:28.6

helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job, and my busy life. I didn't realize that my love

0:35.0

affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to

0:39.2

manage my responsibilities. In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets

0:45.5

of creating and living a life you don't want to escape from. Each week, I'll bring you tools,

0:52.1

lessons, and conversations to help you drink less and live more.

0:56.6

I'll teach you how to navigate our drinking-obsessed culture without a buzz,

1:01.0

how to sit with your emotions when you're lonely or angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed,

1:06.9

how to self-soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your

1:12.6

worst case scenario to the best decision of your life. I am so glad you're here. Now let's get

1:19.2

started. Hey there, it's Casey. And today we're diving in to talk about something I know a lot of

1:26.5

us can relate to.

1:28.0

Being the one who always says yes, keeps the peace, earns the gold stars, who never wants to

1:33.7

disappoint anyone, even if it means completely losing ourselves in the process.

1:39.6

If you felt exhausted from doing it all or felt guilty just thinking about setting a boundary

1:45.5

or worried about if you upset someone, this episode is for you. I'm talking with Dr.

1:52.5

Ingrid Clayton. She's a psychologist and the author of the new book, Fawning, why the need

1:58.1

to please makes us lose ourselves and how to find our way back.

2:02.2

She's a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a PhD

...

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