EP 278: Reader Question - How can friends and family support someone who is changing their relationship with alcohol?

This Naked Mind Podcast

Annie Grace

Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2020

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Can you easily refuse a drink or limit your alcohol consumption? Are you having a hard time understanding the way someone in your life is dealing with (or not dealing with) their drinking? If you are a partner, spouse, parent, child, sibling, or friend of someone who is changing their relationship with alcohol, today’s episode is for you. Listen as Annie Grace explores what is going on in that person’s brain -- what might be causing them to not want to change and why, if they are trying to change, it is so hard.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without
0:15.2	judgment, pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.
0:20.2	Hi, my name is Annie Grace and I am the author of this naked mind and today I wanted to really
0:33.6	answer a question that I get a lot and that is how can I help?
0:38.2	And I get this question from people who write in who may have partners or spouses or parents
0:43.2	or children or loved ones or friends or family in any of our coaching programs or in any of
0:48.8	our programs and they just want to know how can they help? How can they be there for the person
0:52.8	that they love and how can they understand, you know, more importantly because the truth is
0:58.8	when you're on the outside looking in and looking at somebody who seems to be doing something,
1:05.3	they no longer want to be doing, it is very hard to make sense of. I remember my husband would be
1:11.7	like, what's the big deal? Why can't you just not drink if you don't want to drink or why can't you
1:17.8	just stop after one if you want to stop after one or why are you so grumpy on the nights where
1:23.6	you have to be the designated driver? You guilt me into driving all the time? Why can't I have a
1:28.1	fun night out? And it was just this lack of understanding because in his experience, alcohol was very
1:35.3	different for him. It was a very different relationship and we'd often debate about this idea of
1:41.6	the addictive personality and in my work I actually kind of deconstruct the idea of an addictive
1:46.8	personality because the addictive personality does a few things. Number one, it's been kind of
1:50.8	scientifically abandoned. Number two, the aspects that go into somebody becoming addicted, those
1:56.4	personality traits, yes, there are some but they're also really amazing things like people who want
2:01.2	to try new experiences or who have like a zest for life or who are super curious or you know,
2:07.6	it can be really positive too. So the whole packaging it together in this addictive personality
2:12.2	can be very almost shaming and limiting for somebody who feels like, okay, well, if I have
	...

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