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Witches are joining together across the country

to perform black magic rituals

that will put a curse on Donald Trump.

I am not making this up.

The witches are organizing through social media

to summon, quote, demons of the infernal realms

to ensure the president will, quote, fail utterly.

The rituals include burning a picture of Trump

and visualizing the president, quote,

blowing apart into dust or ash, unquote.

At one midnight gathering on a lonely moonlit hill,

three hideous old crones were recently seen

dancing around a steaming cauldron, throwing ingredients

into the brew.

...