President Donald Trump held a press conference on Friday.

Emergency crews are still cleaning up the wreckage and removing the charred bodies from the scene.

Witnesses say the trouble began immediately when the president entered the press room

by driving his gigantic clawed foot through the roof,

flattening several newsmen beneath him,

even while sweeping others up in his massive hands

and roasting them with his fiery breath before devouring them whole.

The tragic blood-soaked scene of carnage in the aftermath

featured journalists with their credibility destroyed,

and their careers reduced to irrelevance

and caused many members of the American public to laugh uproariously,

clinking their beer cans together in a heartfelt toast

at the sight of justice being done.

But journalists complained that this only showed the mean spirit-edness of Trump supporters

who had no compassion for innocent journalists whose only fault

had been to lie every minute of every day for the last 16 years.

Reporters who survived the press are complained that the gigantic beast-like president

ranted and raved against them in an un-American manner

by accusing them of using such biased terms about him as rant and rave and un-American,

which of course they would never do.

After a week in which prominent journalists claimed that Russian hacking of some Democrat emails

constituted an attack as bad as 9-11 or Pearl Harbor

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