The Donald Trump Organization has announced it is opening up a new Trump tower inside the head of the editor of the New York Times.

A spokesman for the Trump Organization said Donald Trump already owned the real estate in the editor's head,

and while the space was narrow there, there was still plenty of room in it since there seemed to be nothing else in there besides thoughts of Donald Trump.

Early blueprints of the tower show that the foundation will be laid in the seething froth of hysterical bias located at the base of the editor's brainstem,

and the tower should rise unimpeded through the top of the editor's head since the top of his head exploded directly after Trump won the election.

Times editor Blithering Provarication III said he welcomed the construction of the new Trump tower inside his head since it would give him a place to neatly store all the Blithering Provarication Trump headlines that are now littering the front page of the former newspaper itself.

These headlines include some say many feel sources report experts pick Donald Trump as worst president ever.

Celebrity stylist say Trump's hair reveals ties to fascism.

Observers wonder why they never see Donald Trump and Steve Bannon at the same time.

And why stupid Americans stupidly voted for stupid Donald Trump because they're so stupid?

At a joint press conference Mr. Provarication held with his psychiatrist, the editor of the former newspaper addressed an empty room full of imaginary reporters saying quote,

many people say I have become obsessed with Donald Trump and that I think every news story should be about Trump and that I even think Trump is hacking my dreams and broadcasting Trump thoughts directly into my Trump head through the Trump fillings in my Trump teeth Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump.

Mr. Provarication went on to assure the reporters these accusations are entirely untrump. A spokesman for the Trump organization said the new Trump tower inside the editor's head would include some never-before-seen innovations like a gigantic photograph of Donald Trump's face on every wall or recording of Trump's inaugural address plane at full volume on a loop in every room and of course large gold letters spelling Trump to be used instead of furniture and fixtures.

The spokesman said this decor was meant to blend in with a decor that was already in the times editor's head so they would not cause much of a change.

To commemorate the construction of the new tower the New York Times issued a special edition with the headline Trump to build new Trump tower Trump Trump Trump Trump.

The entire article consisted of Trump's name written again and again after writing the article the Times editor chased his wife through the house with an axe shouting here's Johnny before returning to live in the Trump tower inside his head where he will continue to edit new additions of the New York Trump Trump Trump.

Trigger warning I'm Andrew Clayvin and this is the Andrew Clayvin Show.

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So I'm going to write some news coming down the pipe even as we go on the air Betsy DeVos was just confirmed this education secretary this is excellent excellent news a couple of silly Republicans ducking out because I guess they were afraid of the teachers unions but Mike Pence broke the tie that is a first in history that a cabinet member was needed the vice president to break the tie someone on TV last night called it very unique which you will never hear anyone in this room ever say and survive because of unique means one of a kind so you can't be very

one of a kind you can only be unique we're not unique but anyway Betsy DeVos the these are important these are the things we talk about here the Betsy DeVos there was a piece I think it was in the Washington Post commemorating Ronald Reagan's 106th birthday which was yesterday comparing Donald Trump to Ronald Reagan which normally would not be even interesting except for the brilliant guy who was writing the article and for the fact that he has been right about the

thing so we're going to get to that later on in the show first let's just cover some of the news of course Trump's order to temporarily ban refugees and to ban people coming in from seven countries that the Obama administration deemed as dangerous so they can check on their vetting procedures that has been suspended by a Seattle judge James Robart because he said kind of ridiculously he said that it was bound to be overturned so I'm spending it which is he's actually allowed to do that like if he thinks is a light

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