Ep 253: Whitney Cummings

We Might Be Drunk

Sam Morril and Mark Normand

Comedy, Tv & Film

4.7 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 13 October 2025

⏱️ 83 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Whitney Cummings joins Mark and Sam for a wild one packed with sharp takes and unfiltered laughs — from Woody Allen and cancel culture to body image, internet addiction, and old-man groping scandals. They dive deep into pet peeves, parenting chaos, overcommitment, and why men love confrontation but never fix their hair. Plus, Whitney opens up about sobriety, losing her laptop in a NYC cab, and the art of being “too busy to actually get anything done.” Sponsored by: Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today. Head to https://www.hims.com/DRUNK F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code DRUNK15 at https://theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DRUNK Support the show and sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trial at https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #WhitneyCummings #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	No, you look like you work out like crazy probably.
0:09.1	I do work out.
0:10.3	I don't know if it's like crazy.
0:11.5	I do like weird body workouts.
0:14.2	I don't like go to the gym.
0:15.2	What is in your?
0:16.1	I had a bit.
0:16.6	Okay, pedophile.
0:17.9	Why do you just have candy?
0:19.0	This would be the saddest pedophile.
0:20.6	Look at these, look at these candies. Come on. These are rough. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you have Christmas candy in your shirt? Every time I see a mint at a hotel, a store, I put it in my pocket. I do it with matches. Me too. I like matches. I love matches. I love when rich people still do broke shit. Oh, yeah.
0:38.0	When I go to fast food, I have to get a handful of napkins, put them in the glove box. And a water cup. Oh, yeah. Yeah, also. And I get a club soda. All of the mini shampoos and conditioners. Yeah. Got a whole thing at home of them. I haven't bought soap in 10 years. Is I just take it from the hotel, the extra one?
0:53.8	I put it right in the bag.
0:55.0	It's horrible soap.
0:55.6	It's bad soap.
0:56.4	Get some good soap on Amazon's cheap. I haven't bought soap in 10 years. I just take it from the hotel, the extra one. That's bad soap, though.
0:55.0	It's horrible soap.
0:55.6	It's bad soap.
0:56.5	Get some good soap on Amazon.
0:58.0	It's cheap. You get good soap. I like the soap. Amazon's fake, I'm hearing. Oh. Really? Yeah, like nicer brands. Oh. Like, I don't know. I don't know what you use in your hair.
1:08.1	Nothing.
1:09.3	Shampo soap.
	...

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