Due to rising fuel prices in the wake of the Iran War, Spirit Airlines, America's last affordable humiliation ritual, has shut down.

Spirit allowed you to trade away luxury, comfort, and basic human dignity for the right to travel over the decaying sprawl of the United States.

And much like the mythic god Atlas, they held

the world on their shoulders.

They were a bulwark against the rigged rat race, where Nepo babies and white-collar crackheads

constantly remind us that we need to work more hours, own fewer assets, and sell ourselves into indentured digital

servitude in order to continue making a nut that forever goes up as the quality of everything

except fentanyl goes down.

Some people might say, I'm romanticizing.

That spirit was a human cruelty engine that would deny drinking water

to a pregnant gunshot victim who was shot by another passenger during the flight. And that

may be true. But regardless, air travel is about to become as unobtainable as home ownership.

$10 a gallon gas is looking likely, and grocery prices are rising so quickly that recipes

for gruel are trending on Pinterest.

The world is being reimagined on the fly by an ad hoc coalition of AI companies, pharmaceutical

drug cartels, and a bipartisan coalition

of politicians on the take.

The only thing not rising in price is labor.

Human ingenuity is valued so low that chatbots are being used to plan mass shootings,

and the Devil Wears Product, too too is leading at the box office.

The only people with any hope left are the Pokemon card scalpers squatting at Target and 19-year-old looksmasers bashing their faces in with hammers.

But don't get discouraged. The bubonic plague may have killed a corner of the population

...