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Help Me Be Me

Ep 234: Falling in Love with Potential – Choosing unhealthy partners

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2024

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help them get somewhere new, thinking we are helping and changing something when we are not.   Often that means living through months or years of bad treatment when the other person is not capable of being kind, loving, receptive, or present with us. Maybe they are in their own world and we are left confused as to why our requests are so unreasonable. You might start to feel like you are crazy, like you are being too demanding, or that is what they make you feel.   It really doesn’t matter what they are really doing or thinking – you may be fixated on that. The most important info is that they are unavailable, not capable, not consistent and you have to accept that at face value. This is what I want to focus on in this episode. How you can move forward knowing this info and how you can avoid this situation in the future. This will hopefully demystify what is happening and why it is happening. And hopefully giving you a path forward in a loop you may be trapped in. Support this week’s sponsors! Nature’s Blend Go to drmartypets.com/helpmebeme for up to 54% OFF Nature’s Blend and get a free bag of Cod Crispies, their bestselling wild-caught cod skin treats.   Hiya Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/HELPMEBME This deal is not available on their regular website. Get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults!   Greenlight Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to GREENLIGHT.com/helpmebeme Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Help Me Be Me. I'm your host, Sarah May Bates. I'm a writer, director, mom, and a breakup coach with an

0:08.0

MAMFT. And this podcast is kind of like a personal relationship. In I talk to you like you're my friend.

0:14.0

I provide tools to help you feel more grounded, empowered, inspired, and most of all help you see yourself.

0:20.0

This is aimed at creating more harmony and happiness in the relationship you have with you,

0:25.3

so you can better guide your life and also be better to those you love. Take what helps and leave the rest.

0:32.3

This is not a diagnosis for treatment.

0:34.4

If you're really struggling, call your local emergency services.

0:40.0

Hi everybody, it's it's Sarah and this is an episode I'm calling damaged goods and

0:49.2

it's really about when we fall in love with potential, with what we see someone could be,

0:56.6

and we wish that person could be their best self, and we imagine them being their best self.

1:01.5

We met that best self self and we're like,

1:03.0

oh, I can bring this out of you. I can help you fulfill that. I can see all of this

1:08.0

greatness in you and I'm going to bring it out. And this episode is inspired by so many clients, so many people and myself.

1:17.4

I mean I've been that person.

1:19.3

I think a lot of people fall in love with a person that could be.

1:26.6

And we hold on despite their bad behavior

1:29.9

and we wait for that person to show up again.

1:32.6

And we will, on a chemical level,

1:35.0

be so attached to them, so in love with that potential.

1:39.5

And often that means you are always waiting for it to be good again.

1:44.6

You might go through months or years of bad treatment when the other person is not capable

1:50.3

of being a mutually beneficial partner.

...

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