Well, it's time to leave this vicious political season behind and get together with the family

for Thanksgiving.

Crap.

That's right, Thanksgiving is that time of year when we gather to inflict emotional wounds

that can never be healed and people we can never avoid over issues that can't be resolved

because we're related to morons.

This year Thanksgiving promises to be especially tense because those family members who voted

for Hillary Clinton are going to feel particularly depressed and humiliated, especially after I

get through with them.

So, today, as a public service, we here at the Andrew Clevans show would like to offer

some helpful tips on how to avoid violent political arguments over Thanksgiving dinner, or if

that's not possible, how to cook the bodies of your enemies so that when the police come

to investigate, they ironically eat the evidence of your crimes and you get off

Scott Free.

So, let's say your Schmuckie cousin Ned with the long nose hair starts ranting about how

Hillary Clinton should really be president because she won the popular vote.

Do not interrupt him to point out that if elections were decided by popular vote, the entire

country would be governed by three cities whose moral wisdom is such that in biblical times

they would have been reduced to sulfurous ash by the just punishment of an angry God.

Also, try not to point out that Schmuckie cousin Ned can hardly have time to study politics

when he devotes so much of his day to looking at bondage porn.

No, this is the time to practice your listening skills.

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