I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions.

Hello hello.

How are you doing?

A few weeks back in episode 216, I shared the truth about breakups because I see how so many people struggle to make sense of why a relationship ended and even when they've actually happily moved on to another relationship the residue of past relationships where they've internalized

blame and shame about the ending of that

relationship continues to linger on affecting their self-esteem potentially even

affecting their perception of what they can and can't do in a current relationship.

Now what's interesting is that in the weeks since then I've heard from a number of people who said

okay but what about like that whole thing you know that book and

even the film he's just not that into you so as a refresher the year before I started baggage reclaim, so 2004, the infamous book, I mean,

major bestseller, he's just not that into you, came out. And it was written by, I think, Greg Bernhardt and

Liz to Killow, and they had both worked on Sex in the City. Greg I think was a consultant on the show I

think for about three seasons. Liz I think was a writer and in the writer's room

there was a conversation taking place one day. I think one of the women was having trouble with a guy that she was seeing.

Some of the other women were like, oh well you know maybe he's know, maybe he's just got a lot going on, give it a bit more time, be

patient, whatever, you know, that type of advice that we have often given each other.

And then Greg chimed in and he's like actually he's just not that into you and there was like a

oh like tell me more And that sparked the episode where

uh, remember Berger, the one who was dating Carrie,

and then basically broke up with her, with a Post-it note saying I'm sorry I can't do this

well when he hears Miranda making excuses about this guy you know that she had been dating

he basically says to her he's just not that into you. And it was

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