All right, let's, you guys, let's talk about going for the gold in marriage. I think a lot of people live in loveless marriages and they just survive and don't really have intimacy or

connection and get through the years and raise kids together and that's that.

So what are you describing our first 14 years?

So maybe.

No, you are. Yeah. Hopefully going forward it's different. So it will be be you know I think a lot of people

live this way that you know they find a comfortable place in marriage where

there's not a ton of conflict, but there's also not a lot of intimacy and

connection. And you know we get stuck in that rut and I don't think any of us got married hoping to have a roommate.

You know we want something more out of marriage.

So I think the first thing let's talk about is how does it happen you know how do you get stuck there

You say you were there the first 14 years of your marriage right? You think yeah. I mean the way you described it I was saying

The Yeah, I mean the way you described it of saying the, sorry, Kobe. I'm like moving.

Saying that you want to avoid conflict.

That was, our whole goal was avoid conflict so that we don't have to talk

about the hard stuff and actually have maybe some growth? Yeah yes I think it

was also out of a I think it was also out of a, I think that existence that we had has everything to do with the fact that we,

we didn't want to be uncomfortable for like to be sure right and we wanted to therefore we avoided but

We also

We didn't have skills like it wasn't modeled for us how to deal with like

typical things how to have how to do with conflict and so it was just like oh so what

can we enjoy what what can we do to avoid this and so I think that was probably

really where it came from yeah so I mean I think you're spot on goby is one you

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