New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last subject to availability. Well how many times have you said to yourself I wish this endless

campaign would be over so we can finally bring the term of one of the worst presidents in United

States history to an end and begin the term of another of the worst presidents in United States

history. How many times have you said I can't wait until we can finally vote? Be disgusted with

the results. Start the next endless campaign and so on until my life is thankfully over.

Well congratulations election day is here and yes you're also another day closer to death.

So things are going just the way you want it. This is the day when you put to use your ultimate

power as a United States citizen. The power to drive by a polling place at high speed with your

pants down and your backside hanging out the window. So whether you're a Hillary Clinton voter

or a sentient being it's time for each of you to ask yourself what are the pros and cons of your

candidate. For Hillary Clinton voters the cons of that your candidate is patently dishonest and

greedy that she sold access to her government positions and returned for personal wealth

and that her decisions concerning Benghazi, Kadafi and which man she should marry have each led to

disaster. On the proside her dental hygiene seems good and her cackling laughter sounds exactly

like the crows from the telephone wire scene and Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds which turned out to

be a much better movie on second viewing than we thought it was at first. Also Hillary would not

only make histories the first woman president her presidency would almost certainly guarantee no

woman would ever be elected to that office again. So if you're the sort of sexist who doesn't

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