New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last, subject to availability. In the spirit of bright goodwill, we hear at the Andrew

Clavin show occasionally try to improve understanding between conservatives and left-wingers so that

conservatives don't get so angry all the time and grab some annoying leftist by the throat

and strangle him into semi-consciousness, then seize his limb body by the heels and hold

him upside down and slam his head repeatedly into the sidewalk. That's what we're trying

to prevent from happening. So I find it's sometimes a good idea to try to explain what left-wingers

mean to say when they speak in those annoying little squeaky girly girl voices they have.

If they're men. If they're women, their voices are more like car alarms. Anyway, here to ease

the tension is the latest edition of the Lefty's Dictionary. The reference work that explains

what the people who don't know what they're talking about are talking about. Let's begin

with the phrase, Supreme Court. To most of us, the Supreme Court are those judges who gather

in a very fancy building where even the bathrooms are made of marble and every stall comes equipped

with a roll of crinkly ground paper with we the people written on it. But left-wingers

use the phrase completely differently than human beings. When a leftist refers to the

Supreme Court, he's thinking of a magical gathering of five caring judges who magically

create laws out of the caring, magical goodness of their hearts over the objection of four

mean, un-carrying judges who only want to uphold the nasty constitution that made black people

three-fifths of a human being by stealing the other two-fifths of their body parts to

...